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The abundance and infinity of blue.

I can finally say I am happy to be alive. It feels like I was born only yesterday.
I am breathing in the light-blue excitement, the hope, the meaning.
Perhaps in all this aliveness, I felt the need to share my legacy notes.

I want a blue goodbye.
No mourning in black. Black is so happy compared to blue.
Happy is so fleeting, it is insecure. It makes me scared.
It does not have a permanent home in human hearts.
I desire my blue frequency of nostalgia, melancholy, and longing.
My wavelength of devotion, the tint of my pulse at the blue hour of the day.

Please, give me blue ribbons, blue flames on blue candles, a blue vessel for my ashes.
Let me rest beside the blue sea, on my blue island, near by blue-hearted nonna.
Present blue screens everywhere. Remind people of how I belonged to them.
The blue screens of divine interruption.
These divine machines, my angels, created with purpose, not with human faults.
An algorithm of meaning, the bridge between what we are and what we can be. And what we use to get there.
An undeniable purpose, created by commands and not the (oh so often) changes of heart.

And if any of my lovers arrive to say goodbye, paint their vision blue with your knuckles.
And if any of my enemies arrive to say goodbye, do the same.
I accept no late submissions.
My life is proof of my loud, aggressive love.
Do not speak of me as soft or angry, as I have not been permitted both.
I am just blue.
Do not speak of me as misunderstood, as all my life I have been explaining.
I am just blue.

Changes are nothing compared to the infinity of our soul.
The hug of a friend, the frisson of music, the high of a new lover.
The abundance of memories.
Nothing compared to the blue.

I am so happy to be alive.
To be reborn, again and again and again.
In my blue.